he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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