So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
