Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
