Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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