what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
