Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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