take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
