had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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