i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize