I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
