If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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