Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
