Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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