if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
