one might say we're banned from that church
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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