I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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