Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just googled if crying burns calories
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
