no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
