This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
