I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
