the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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