Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants 0. Shit 1.

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(361): View more from Texas

Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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(316): View more from Kansas

I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(812): View more from Indiana

You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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(630): View more from Illinois

oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

(1-630): View more from Illinois

fair point

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(227): View more from Maryland

I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent

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