if only i could text you this smell
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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