Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
