Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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