if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
