I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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