What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
