she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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