its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
