i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize