hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
