I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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