It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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