My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize