the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize