New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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