She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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