Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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