Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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