I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
