She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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