I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
