I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
