you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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