You really coming over, don't trick.
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
