New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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