I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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