is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
