Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
