Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
