Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
