Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
