people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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