I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
