There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
