ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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