the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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