I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
NoShamevember. You game?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
