i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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