oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
