adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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