Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
