What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize