one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
