sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
